Thursday, July 17, 2014

First Time Motherhood for a Older Doe

The first freckled babe photo I took of Marque (behind right) and her brother
Cary (foreground left).
But to Hannah he gave a double portion because he loved
 her, and the Lord had closed her womb. 1 Samuel 1:5

Abraham fell facedown; he laughed and said to himself, “Will a son be born to a man a hundred years old? Will Sarah bear a child at the age of ninety?” Genesis 17:17

Her name is Marquise, but I spell it Marque (pronounced Mar-key). She was named after the Marquise diamond, because when I first laid eyes on her on July 3, 2010, the first thing I saw was the white fur around her eyes in the shape of a diamond... a marquise diamond. I named her on the spot. She had a very handsome brother, who I named Carat, Cary for short. My nickname for him was Mr. Goodlooking, because he was so pleasing to my eyes.

In March 2011, I received a phone call from one of my deer friends, Kat. She told me that she saw a fawn with a broken leg and the bone was sticking out. Kat took me to the location where Marque was at and showed me. At first, due to my lack of experience, I thought I was going to have to have the fawn put down. That is, until I saw the fawn run from us and then I said to myself, "No, if she can run like that with a compound fracture of the front leg, she deserves a chance to heal. I have faith that she will live."  

I spoke faith over her every day, multiple times per day. I said over-and-over until I think many people were sick of hearing it. "Marque will live, she will heal and one day she will walk without a limp." I spoke them, because words have power and show your faith and state to the Most High God the desire of your heart. Speak faith, not doubt.

Over three years have passed since Marque broke her leg and she is alive and well and walks without a limp. Her right lower leg has a deformity, but not a gross one, it just looks like an area of swelling. 

Marque is a four year old doe now, but for some reason, she had never been able to have fawns. I watched the other does raise their fawns during the summer months, while Marque was often seen living her life with the bucks. That is a very sad sight, but I understood why, she didn't want to be alone. 

It was heart wrenching for me, because I was unable to have children and I understood her situation. While other women my age were rearing children, I was not. I wanted her to have fawns of her own and often prayed for this, but year-after-year went by and Marque was still alone or with the bucks in the summertime. Well, that is until this year...

Mama Marque and her fawns...
Hope on the right and Diamond directly behind Marque. 

Yesterday, I was on the southeast side of Somewhere, Kansas with Family One (of whom Marque is now an adopted member... she was originally a member of Family Three, but all her Family was killed or died). And I heard a doe calling to her young on the other side of a large cedar tree in Praise's Meadow, curious I went to see, which doe it was. When I rounded the cedar tree I saw Marque with two fawns, who had just finished nursing her. My mouth fell open and the flooding of unexplainable joy filled my being. "Marque!!!! YOU ARE a mama!!!! Oh it was one of the happiest moments of my life with the deer, perhaps the happiest. 

Immediately, my mind went to Hannah in the Bible, who had waited so long for Samuel and Abraham and Sarah who had waited so long for Isaac. Marque had gone through two ruts after her maturity, yet was unable to give birth. 

Then, I remembered, I was on Blackberry Hill one November evening in 2014, I was photographing the deer of Family One and Marque was there and she was in heat. I watched her being chased all around Cardinal Meadow, Praise's Meadow, The Meadow at the Well... I thought to myself, "I wonder if, she will be fruitful this season?"

Yesterday, my question was answered, Marque is a mama doe, she is fruitful. Oh the tears of joy, sheer joy and inside my soul a song of praise, which arose from that joy, "She will no longer be alone, she will no longer be alone!!!!"

I quickly began photographing her and the little ones, then I stopped and lowered the camera. I saw the diamonds again around their eyes and remembered how their mama got her name, I knew their names and I spoke the first one "Your name will be Hope." And to the other one I said, "Your name will be Diamond!" Yes, Marquise (Marque) fawns names are Hope and Diamond. And to me, these two freckled babes are more valuable than the Hope Diamond.

For anyone reading who has given up hope in a miracle, or is desiring something which seems impossible, remember that Marque gave birth for the first time, at the age of four. And in the life of a doe, that is VERY late motherhood. 

From somewhere, in the Great State of Kansas, this is a VERY, VERY, VERY pro life Josie Wales, bubbling with pure joy...writing... MARQUE is a MAMA!!! MARQUE is a MAMA!!!! Ciao for now!!!!

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Was It Raphaella, Who Was Killed?

Raphaella coming to me on July 4th, 2014. I'm praying she is still alive.
You can still see the area where the arrow exited her body, just behind her right shoulder.
This story begins on Friday, July 11, 2014 at 7:00 am.

I was awaken from sleep with the news that a deer was hit by a truck and the location was given to me. The caller was kind enough to drag the deer out of the middle of the road. I thanked the caller, hung up, got dressed and left the house without even washing my face and headed for Somewhere, Kansas.

When I got there, I saw the deer lying on the west side of the eastern most road, it's was obviously killed on impact and it's body seriously traumatized. There were truck skid marks in the middle of the road are the remaining evidence of the nightmare. 

I parked my car just south of the deer and got out and walked to it. I looked immediately at the face, but it was no longer recognizable. At first, I thought it was a young buck, because I saw something protruding from the top of it's head, I thought it was an antler.  I took my foot and touched it, I discovered it was the right eye of the deer protruding from the orbit. I looked at it's tummy and saw that it was a doe, who had been nursing. The abdomen was grossly distented due to postpartum blot and the left hind leg shattered with multiple, compound fractures and the hair on the top of her back was removed by being dragged on the road. It was a troubling sight.

I looked around, realizing that the area where the carcass was lying was in an area shared by Family One and Two. I looked at the doe closer, I looked at her ears and thought, "Scalloped, like Raphaella's ears." She is a member of Family Two, who is nursing. She frequently grazes the area at night. "STOP!!!! I screamed in my mind..."STOP!" I blocked it all. NO! The person, I was of years ago, would have become emotional, but no longer. I have endured such loss of both person and animal, who I have loved that I realized it has made me stronger. Also, It has made me, the one thing I have never wanted to be...HARD. As I stood there looking at the-once-beautiful creature, I gave thanks for the hardness, because without it, I may have lost my mind to more grief in my life. 

Then, standing over the deer carcass, I thought about my greatest, recent loss...the death of my mom on June 12, 2014. I became aware, that am feeling a bit distant, running and blocking the pain of loss in my life. Wanting desparately to  feel anything but pain and numbness. I have been mourning her in my own private way and I am not done doing so and wondered, "Will I ever be?" I have days when I just want to be alone and days of wanting only to love and be loved and I often wonder, "Why must there be so much pain and loss?!!!"

As I stood over the mutilated carcass of a deer, who may be my beloved Raphaella, I hear my voice from with in yelling, "NO!!!  I am not going to think about this until I can no longer find her, then I will deal with this. 

Then, I feel it... flowing from heaven... the oh-so-familiar numbness, and I thank God for this divine anesthesia, which I believe is a form of His gift of unfathonable mercy.  I can continue forward with my day, because I feel no pain. Although, I am tired of the numbness at times; however, when feeling that pain, I am glad when it takes comes in and takes the place of the pain.  

In the meantime, I will pray that God gives me the grace to be able to handle more grief, if it is Raphaella, because of all the deer in Somewhere, Kansas, it is Raphaella who I was the closest to. I think about the saying, "God who doesn't have favorites, but He does have intimates." I don't have favorites amongst my deer, because I love them all the same, but I do have intimates, one's who I am closest to. Raphaella and I had a connection like no other deer, who I have ever known. Our bond and intimacy was even greater than I had with Praise. I love her so much.

Raphaella and I had a MAGNIFICANT history together...a beautiful history, painful history, and incredible, one-of-a-kind life together and I want it to continue. Now I will share some of our history with you:

I was with when her mother and father mated to create her and her twin brother. I was with the precious and shy creature, while she was in freckles, I saw her grow up with her twin brother, Joseph. I saw her raise her full blooded younger brother, Josetto, after her mother Josie was killed by WORTHLESS poachers. I was with her when she was being chased by big boy buck Barnabus during her first mating season and they almost ran me over. I did what I could to be merciful to her when she was with her through her suffering of her own severe poacher inflicted arrow wound in the winter and spring of 2012. I was with her when she was in labor, preparing to give birth to her first little girl fawn, Victory (named so, because she had survived after her mother was hit with the arrow, when pregnant with Victory). Raphaella, brought Victory to see me for the first time on July 6, 2012. 

Raphaella was the one, who was like a watch dog for me, if someone was silently approaching me from behind, she let me know. I felt safe with her, she had my back and I had hers, we protected one another, in our own way.  

She told me my car was being broke into for the second time, before my car alarm went off on the cold, silent and gloomy evening of January 7, 2012. It was Raphaella, who hear the glass break and let me know something was wrong. 

Oh the list and memories goes go on. If it was Raphaella who was killed, I saw her last on July 4, 2014 in Praise's Meadow of Territory One. I photographed her there and I saw her nurse her two fawns.

In remembering our history together, I am thankful for all those, who I have loved and lost,  not only Raphaella (if she is the dead doe). Then,  I remember the words of poet Alfred Lord Tennyson... "It is better to have loved and lost, than never have loved at all." These lines are so true, because real love, although painful at times is the greatest gift in the world and it lives on, even after the loss, real love never ends.

Now, my thoughts and prayers go out to the orphan fawns, who are without their mom, whoever she is and their safety and survival. 

Daily, I pray for my blog readers and followers, now, I ask that you pray for me. With heart-felt sincerity and love, Josie Wales...The Deer Paparazza+

Monday, June 30, 2014

Deer and Thoughts of the Mockingbird

Raphaella coming to me yesterday. I parked my car at the south
end of Territory One and signaled for the deer, within a minute Raphaella
appeared and came to me.

I'm spending more and more intimate time with the deer, namely the does. I am doing so from the outskirts of their world. I have not yet ventured into the high brush, tall grass prairies and woods of Somewhere, Kansas, because I'm not ready to deal with all that must be dealt with when doing so (insects, snakes, protective clothing, heat...).

For now, I go and park my car near the road and audibly signal, usually within minutes I have a doe with me. Lately, the does, who have been in the vicinity of my signal have been...Victory, Allegra, Raphaella, Clarissa and Lillian. I have also had some yearling like Tobit and Josephine. 

The passion to enter their world seems to be growing inside of me, even though honestly there is a part of me dreads the thought of dealing with the ticks and other obstacles, I will have to face. The reason for my growing passion is my desire to see the freckled babes. I anxiously anticipate seeing my first fawn. I wonder where I will see it, which does it will be, how it will look and then of course what name will I eventually give it. 

I think about the deer and the stories that will unfold over the next year. And then, I think about an unpleasant thought, that being the poachers. I'm no fool, I know they will be back, for where there are objects of great value and beauty, that is where one will also always find the thief. I think about how alone I feel at times in dealing with protecting them, even though there are those who care, but no one cares for them like I do. I think about the odds, for and against me, and sometimes the odds against me seem insurmountable and I sigh. 

This weekend while considering all that is involved with protecting these deer and the earthly odds against me. I remembered of a quote from one of my favorite books, "To Kill a Mockingbird," written by one of my literary idols, the perfectly reclusive Harper Lee. The quote is:

"Real courage is when you know you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what."

Yes, in earthly terms, I know I am licked; however, I do not press forward because of my desire to be successful in earthly terms, but rather in spiritual and heavenly terms. I know without a doubt that God will give me the victory, as long as I have faith and hope in Him and trust me...I do!!! His Son, Jesus, suffered the greatest suffering imaginable and He looked like He was defeated, but He was NOT. His tremendous suffering brought about the greatest victory ever.

He is the author of my story with the deer and He will give this story the perfect ending. I have had much suffering during this story. I don't know what the future holds, but as long as God keeps the door open, I will continue studying, caring for and protecting the deer of Somewhere, Kansas.

I write today to encourage you, if you are facing something, which seems impossible to have a victory, have faith and hope in God and have the courage to go on, even though it looks like your licked. You are not the only one in such a situation, because I too am in a similar boat, in the company of a whole bunch of relatively helpless white-tailed deer.

Have a great day everyone! You are in my prayers in a special way. From the vicinity of Somewhere, Kansas, this is Josie Wales...The Deer Paparazza+ writing Ciao for now!

Monday, June 23, 2014

My Return to the Deer of Somewhere, Kansas

The above photograph is of Victory standing in an opening of the Osage hedgerow on the north end of the Cedar Forest, home of her family...Family Two. I took the photo while standing on The Road Between Seasons late one evening.

Victory was the first deer I saw, when I was able to return  to Somewhere, Kansas for the first time after my mother's death. My mom died on June 12, 2014 at 11:10 p.m.  The fact that Victory was the first deer I saw has special meaning to me, because of her life story, starting in her mother, Raphaella's womb.

 I have been very slowly making my way back to be reunited with my white-tailed friends, I have been dropping by to see them briefly usually in the solitude of the late evening hours of the day.

Although, we have not been together much over the last year, because of my time away, spending valuable time with my mom... the deer still remember me, as though I was never gone. As soon as they hear my voice, whether on The Road Between Seasons, in Praise's Meadow...they come to me without delay.

I hope God uses the deer to help me heal during this mourning period. I trust that He will use them in some special way. I'm still dealing with some mental and emotional exhaustion and recovering from a respiratory illness, but I feel a victorious  overall comeback is waiting for me in the future.  My time with the deer has been and will be brief for a while, but in the little time I have been with them, it has been the wonderful.

From the outskirts of Somewhere, Kansas, this is Josie Wales...The Deer Paparazza writing...The white-tailed deer and I have missed you. Stay tuned for the  2014 stories of the new freckled babes. Good night and pleasant dreams. 

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

One Favor... Seeing Victory Fawns

This morning, I was in the Cedar Forest early with all members of Family Two. Here are the deer, who were present:
Matriarch Doe Allegra and her fawn Sebastianna (also known as Tianna or Tia). Her younger half sister Raphaella and her two yearlings... female Josephine and yearling buck Tobit (Toby). And Raphaella's eldest daughter two year old doe Victory.
Allegra, Raphaella and Victory are still pregnant and of the three of them young Victory has the largest abdominal girth. She looks like she could be carrying triplets, which is very interesting to me, because I actually have had three names already chosen. I would love to use all three of these names.
As of this morning, Victory's udders have begun to swell. I was unable to evaluate Raphaella's and Allegra's.
With three does pregnant, I am hoping to see one of them give birth to her fawns. It has been my greatest dream throughout this deer saga.
At times, when I have thought that my time with the deer may be over, I asked the Lord that if  He was going to call me to something else, that He would grant me just one more favor. I prayed, "Dear Jesus, please grant me the favor of seeing Victory's fawns, before my time with the deer ends."
The time is nearing and I am very excited and have expectancy of God's love, generosity and favor, when it comes to the birth of these fawns... my fourth generation of fawns from one family... they will be my great, great grand fawns.
How will I sleep tonight, knowing that they soon will be here... spots and all?!!!! I am predicting that Victory's fawns will be born on May 30th (The Feast Day of St. Joan of Arc). We will see what God's will is with this life matter.
Good night all... and the sweetest of dreams to each of you. With much Christian love, Josie Wales... The Deer Paparazza+ 

Monday, May 19, 2014

A Great Great Grandmother to Family Two

Well, my vacation away from Somewhere, Kansas is over for a while, because some things are MUCH more important than time away, like the birth of the new freckled babes. I've been getting much information that points to the fact that the new bundles of speckled love are going to be in our presence soon, specifically about Family Two and Family Seven.
I stopped on The Road Between Seasons this morning and watch three of the yearlings from Family Two running around at ten o'clock and being very careless and acting extremely goofy. As I watched them I immediately knew what this behavior meant, Allegra, Raphaella and Victory are about to give birth or have given birth.
I knew this because mother deer reject their last years fawns, when they are nearing time to give birth to their new fawns. I call this "yearling rejection." This is the time of the year when yearlings get into much trouble, because they are on their own for the first time. They have had the guidance and supervision of their mother for a  year, but now they have to apply what they have learned from her in making their own decisions. They are stressed due to this life change and often don't make the best choices.
There is one doe, in particular, who I am most excited about seeing her freckled babe(s) and her name is Victory. The fawns she is carrying will be the fourth generation from one family that I have seen and followed. Doe Josie was first, then she had Raphaella, then Raphaella had Victory and now Victory is going to have.... Well, I have the names already picked out, but you will have to wait to find out what they are. This fawn or fawns will make me a great great grandmother to these deer.
I'll be wearing a pastel pink and blue headdress for the next couple of days. I'll be happy with either little girl or boy freckled babes, but in my heart, I'm hoping for little freckled girlies :) !!!!!!!! I'm also praying to witness the birth of a new babe of Somewhere, Kansas, it has been a great desire of mine.
Good night everyone!!!!! I'm so excited to be a great great grandma soon. With much Christian love, Josie Wales...The Deer Paparazza+

Sunday, May 18, 2014

A Vacation From the Deer

The fountain at the entrance to the Botanica Gardens
in Wichita, Kansas.
Dear Deer Readers,

Recently, my passion for photography has been reignited and the fire within my heart for photography is burning strongly, for sometime the fire had all but gone out for various reasons. 

I have had a strong desire in my heart to photograph things other than deer at the present time. I believe there are times to follow ones heart to the fullest, that time is now. I am currently traveling around the city and the county, which surrounds Somewhere, Kansas, the name of that GREAT city is Wichita, Kansas and the county Sedgwick. 

I still drive around Somewhere, Kansas daily, checking on things from the outskirts and at times take a little walk, but it is time for a little vacation. A time to rest and see a few new things and prepare for the seasons to come, whatever it may be.

I will be showing you my world, which surrounds Somewhere, Kansas, but just in a variety of settings. There will be photos from the city, country, dirt and paved roads. 

I hope you enjoy the upcoming blogs and the images from my vacation, hand-in-hand with my best friend...my camera.

In this blog are just a few of the images, which I photographed yesterday.
This is a great, white heron standing on a log on the Arkansas River (pronounce Ar-Kansas)

Heron taking flight

Looking southward along the bank of the Arkansas River
from the lovely and quaint street called the Back Bay Boulevard.
I love how the light grasses around the heron make it look like
it is in the spotlight.

The beautiful domes of the St. Mary's Cathedral are visible in the skyline
from  the Riverside area.
Hope you enjoyed the photographs  from one of my vacation days. God bless you! With much Christian love, Josie Wales...The Deer Paparazza+